Is there any better feeling than having a weight lifted off your shoulders that has been sat there for the last few weeks? That’s what has happened to me today. In my last post, I revealed that I have been suffering from anxiety for quite some time, and I’d decided to take the leap to get some help. Well, today was that day, and I’m so glad I did.

I had a follow-up appointment with my GP who I’d already been to see about it 2 weeks ago. He insisted on seeing me again, as he wanted to check my progress. Well, I left the doctor’s office feeling quite upbeat about everything. He said he was really happy with how I’m doing, and he was really proud that I’d decided to give ‘talking therapy’ a go. He said this kind of therapy is 10x better than any medication he could prescribe me, which made me feel quite confident about it actually working. I’m the kind of person that tends to keep things locked away but when I finally unleash the beast, it feels like I’m so much lighter. So, I know already that talking therapy will help.

That’s where the phone call comes in.

I’d self-referred myself to Sunderland Psychotherapy Centre a couple of weeks back where I was given a date for a telephone assessment. I had a lovely lady call me today who completely lifted everything off my shoulders. She ran through some questions about my day-to-day life, and I had to answer them on a scale of 1-8; 1 meant rarely and 8 meant highly likely. I mainly gave a score of either a 7 or 8 when it came to the questions about social situations, which is where my anxiety is focused on the most.

At the end of the assessment, the therapist said that she can see already that my anxiety revolves around me saying “well what if this happens, what if that happens?”. It’s crazy that a woman I’ve never even met has already figured that out about me! It was like she was looking right inside my head and pulling bits of negativity out of it. She decided that the best course of action for me was to go down the Guided Self Help route.

Guided Self Help is a form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which allows the therapist to help me make positive changes to my mental attitude. At the minute, I feel a little sceptical about it but I obviously don’t want to rule anything out. The best thing I can do is try it and if, at the end of the treatment it doesn’t seem to have worked, then I’ll try something else.

The therapist I spoke to today asked me what I wanted the end goal to be after the treatment. And honestly, it’s to just wake up and feel happy. I don’t want to keep waking up with my stomach in knots or my heart racing like I’ve just ran a marathon. I want to be able to take my little girl out without fearing the worst. And I WILL do it, I WILL reach that end goal!!